A friend of mine came home for the Founder’s Day celebration of my Alma Mater, Silliman University. We did not get to see each other during her visit as she forgot that I existed. I don’t blame her.

 

For weeks, months even, I have gone undetected by the social radar. Not many know what I have been up to, or how I have been. In fact, many people have assumed I have left my sleepy little town. Yes, even in this town where almost everybody knows somebody who knows somebody and then meets up with another somebody who knows that somebody, I have been invisible. I think even my own mother and grandmother wonder how my life has been lately.

 

Well, since going AWOL, life has been interesting. So many things have changed, so many lessons learned, and so much to tell that I do not even know where to start. However, there is that secret reason as to why I have taken myself out of the society’s radar. It is assumed that I have been merely busy with my life… and that my family and work has taken all my time. That may be so, but not that much. In truth, Dhirrac has always encouraged me to go out once in a while and meet up with friends. I would like that, too. The funny thing is, whenever I get the chance to go out, it’s my friends who are busy… and when they go out, well, nobody remembers me, or I’m busy. It’s like, it’s not meant to be.

 

Ahh.. but the secret. I guess the secret reason is that I envy my friends a bit. I envy them that they do not have a care if the world stops turning or not. That they party their nights out and wine and dine. That they wear uber-fashionista clothing, and they spend their money – whether hard earned money or earned hard from asking from their parents.

 

Yes, envy never truly goes away does it. To quell my envy, I reflect on the wise words of my friend JJ Superman in which he said, “gaw, always look on the bright side…think of it what you’re going through as a training for days ahead..” . A pretty bitter thought. But it makes some sense. 

 

There are no regrets in this area, just envy, I assure you. I could not be any happier with where I am… I just wish, sometimes, that I had somebody to share these ideas that I have accumulated, or the things that I have learned with. Instead, whenever I try to talk to my peers, all I hear is travel, travel, party, party, gimmick, dating, etc. Oh well, it’s their life to live. I am happy for them. Even though I understand that some of them pity my condition, I wish I could say to them, “Don’t. I am happy and content, and I would not trade this for the world.”